You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
