We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
