Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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