just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
