He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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