In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
