I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
