Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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