I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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