Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm like, not good at living.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
