I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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