Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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