"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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