I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
