He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
