1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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