Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
