Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
