I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
