I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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