it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i think i have two assholes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
