i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
