I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
