Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
