Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
