I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
