My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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