But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
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Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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