Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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