I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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