i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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