sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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