guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
