Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Green mimosas i think yes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
