My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
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You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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