She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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