i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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