Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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