apparently the secret to your success is patron
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
