So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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