yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
