Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
