this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
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Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
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I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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