she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
