is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
