just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize