I am puke
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Say something about gay babies.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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