I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
