How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
