I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize