SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
