you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
