Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
