he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
