We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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