she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
