Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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