I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
