we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
