Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
