Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
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For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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