It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
