tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
