Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
