I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he was CRYING into my vagina
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
