White coat. Heels.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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