Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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