Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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