oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
